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The Weight of Blogging

I discussed a lot of this recently in my 200th blogpost, but I’m going to carry on anyway.

I feel like I’ve found my feet within the blogging world. I consistently post, I know what content I like to blog about, I’ve surrounded myself with a group of online friends, my views are slowly creeping up and I work tirelessly on it.

Here’s a cheesy happy pic to counteract the negativity.

Although there are a great deal of negatives that come along with this. Now I’m in this groove of posting three times a week, I feel great pressure to keep up with it. It’s pressure I place on myself, no one else does, and frankly I’m a drop in the vast ocean of bloggers so I’m sure it would go unnoticed if I took a day or two off, last Friday I missed a post because I didn’t feel happy with it. Of course I agonised over it.

I’ve been interviewing creators and it seems we all suffer from the same plight, we all put such enormous pressure on ourselves. It definitely borders on unhealthy at times.

In this wonderful community we see such incredible content churned out everyday from our friends and peers, we see people taking incredible leaps and we see people do such incredible things that it’s hard not to feel like you’re slacking even if you aren’t in the slightest.

I’m not a fan of quotes, however ‘comparison is the thief of joy’ feels apt. Since typing the draft of this post I’ve seen this quote thrown around in the blogging community, what a coincidence, but it just proves we’re all in the same boat.

I often find myself watching someone’s Instagram Story and wishing my life could be like that, that I could maybe somehow achieve it by posting more, by working harder, by pushing myself to a point of burnout all for some life that is curated to be posted online. The snaps we post, the stories we share, they’re only a tiny part of our day. No one sees each other on the loo or taking the bins out.

The reality is that I work 9-5:30 in a pretty cool job, a very cool job for a fresh uni graduate, and I try to have a life. I moved all the way to London to enjoy it, not to stay cooped up in my bedroom typing away endlessly! I pay so much to live here, so why spend all my freetime doing what I could be doing anywhere? That doesn’t stop me from feeling guilty when I binge some TV or go for a drink instead of working on some writing projects, creating a video, e-mailing for experience. I can’t pour every single day of my life into content creation and writing, even if I would love to, because I have other things to be doing, a life to be living!

‘Do your passion at the side until your passion becomes full-time’, I’ve probably garbled that quote up, but I think of it often. I think of it for myself and for many content creators I know. With passion comes pressure and with pressure comes stress and with that everything can come falling down.

This sounds awfully negative. I love blogging, I love making things, it’s what I do and what I think I’m best at. However it’s so easy to find yourself downtrodden despite doing great things. This year I’ve been able to work on cool projects with friends, work with amazing companies and hopefully opportunities will keep coming.

I found myself feeling a bit shit this week after sending out a bunch of e-mail requests to interview and receiving¬†no replies. I’m trying to build a portfolio and a brand and it’s hard. It sucks to not be making as much progress as you want to be, even if you know that these goals aren’t entirely realistic. I see some friends working with amazing brands, interviewing amazing people, going to amazing places, and whilst I am so genuinely¬†overjoyed for them, there’s that voice that whispers ‘This could be you if you made better content’.

I just wanted to vent this out there, I know many feel the same and maybe reading this makes a crappy night easier for someone! We post positive content, we post happy photos, we share the interesting things but there’s a whole world and life behind it. It’s easy to forget that. And it’s easy to forget that just because we’re not at our end goal now doesn’t mean we won’t get there, and we don’t have to break our backs 24/7 to get there.

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