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Things I Wished to Know #1: Outgrowing friendships

Hello everyone!

I feel like I’ve been neglecting this blog lately, which really isn’t a habit I want to get into. I love writing, and I want to keep posting on here for a long time if possible. Lately I’ve been struggling with ideas for posts and what I want to actually sit and write about. I’ve also been finding it hard to find the time to do it.

But last night, whilst in bed I suddenly had a bunch of ideas and I had to get out of bed to write them down, because I knew I would fall asleep and immediately forget otherwise.

Yesterday, I travelled to Manchester to meet Zoe Sugg at her book signing, for her debut novel ‘Girl Online‘, but I’m going to talk about that over on my YouTube channel rather than on here. I vlogged most of the day and that will be going up Sunday at 5pm if you’re interested. I’m getting a little sidetracked, but to bring it back, Girl Online is about a young girl who runs an anonymous blog online, and she wrote a post about outgrowing friendships. I’ve gone through this a lot in my life, I’m sure a lot of you have, I guess it’s just something that happens when you’re growing up, but I don’t think it ever really stops happening.

Just like how you can fall in love with a TV series, and a few years later you catch it on, and realise that you think it’s awful. That the feelings you once had about it are gone, and you don’t miss them.

I feel like I’m outgrowing a friendship at the minute. It’s a weird feeling. I half feel guilty and I half really don’t, because I’m just beginning to see that’s how things go. Friendships come and go, but a lot definitely stay. I have 3 friends that I have known since we were all 4 years old, and we still keep in touch. I have a group of friends from high school that I’m still great friends with. Friends from college like that too. But sometimes people fall out of your life, and it’s not always a bad thing. I’m sure people have outgrown their friendship with me too. I think it happens to us all.

It can be for a bunch of reasons.  Here’s an example I went through probably around a year ago. Going to uni is one of those big steps that can make or break relationships, and when I, and a lot of people in my life all went on our separate uni/work life paths, things changed! When people are in an entirely new environment, surrounded by new people, living in a sort-of-independant way, they’ll change, which is sort of obvious, but they can change into people that aren’t the people you’re friends with.  I know I changed in some ways when I started university, I mean I started filming myself weekly and putting that on the internet. I started writing on here! I took up new hobbies, I tried new things! But I think at the core of it I’m the same person, just with some new passions. I think so, anyway, whether other people do is a different matter!

I had a friend when I was about 15, who I had such a friend crush on, you know how you have no romantic attraction in the slightest but you just want to befriend that person? I totally friend crush a lot. We became friends and it was really great for a while.

As we got older, we contacted each other less and less, and after over half a year of probably zero contact we met up a few months ago. And I realised I was done with this person. When all of someone’s stories start with ‘I was so high’ or ‘I was really drunk’, it’s probably time to cut that person out of your life. It made me sad to think that. It also made me sad that they believed they could only be interesting if they weren’t sober. That kind of sucks doesn’t it? Imagine not having any sustenance to yourself apart from the drugs and alcohol you put in your body. And that you have to do that to have a good time.

I think that really sucks for that person. But both of us are at different stages in our life despite being the same age. Things change, I’m not that person who wants to get drunk and high, I have the most fun when I’m sober. And if they don’t, maybe we just aren’t compatible as friends anymore. Which is a shame, we used to really enjoy each other’s company, but when we met last, I felt so uncomfortable, they probably did too.

The same thing is sort of happening again, but it’s a bit more complicated this time.

I just wanted to write this out, I know people experience this, I’ve seen it happen to a lot of friends of mine, I’ve read about it in books, I’ve seen it on TV, but I just needed to discuss it.

Has this happened to you? Have you ‘outgrown’ a friendship?

It only makes sense I guess, between the ages of 14-21 you probably go through more changes than you will in any other set of 7 years of your life. It’s only natural that the people you’re friends with aren’t your friends forever.

Thanks for reading! What do you think about these longer entries that are more of a discussion about things happening in my life? Maybe you find it interesting, maybe you find it impossibly mind numbing, I don’t know.

ps I am also sorry for throwing a million questions at you all.

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